123 School Work

first class of the ManagementDepartment

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  I went to the first class of the Management
  Department this morning and felt terrible afterwards.
  I didn't sleep well last night so I wasn't in good
  mood this morning, but it's no excuse for me to be so
  timid then.
  
  I sensed fear greatly during the class, which began
  by discussing one reading assigned last Monday when I
  wasn't able to attend thus had no idea about. Other
  students raised hands and participated in discussions
  warmly while I felt frustrated by not being able to
  join. Then the topic shifts to the reading I've read
  all the weekend and the professor asked us about our
  opinions, still most students joined the discussion
  comfortablely while I waited and waited and still
  couldn't find courage to raise my hand and speak out
  what I prepared (not in good quality, but it's at
  least something!)
  
  I felt terrible after this, not only because that
  my English is not good enough (it can never be good
  enough) but more important, I gave up the chance to
  imporve by not raising my hand. Since all professors
  and colleagues in Architecture Dept. became familiar
  with me, I've forgot this bad feelings for a while.
  But all of a sudden, I recalled the bad feelings I've
  had when I first came to the US and in the beginning
  of photography class in which I always feel awkward to
  speak in front of my classmates who master the
  language and who can express themselves so easily. The
  pressure of doing things that I am not good at and the
  deep fear caused by this, again was so close to me...